Déjà vu

2010-11-25T00:28:00.003+08:00

so many thoughts, so little words to express.

i don't want to say this but i miss the time in band. after the small talk tonight, i really miss the time i had in band.

although there are fights, politics and punishment, going through all this with the friends i had was all worth it. through all these, we became closer to each other.

i have never regretted being in band although i am forced to.

there are many more things i want to say but i don't have the words to express it.

2010-09-20T23:50:00.002+08:00

moving on.

words can't express the way i truly feel. so not gonna post anything here. it's useless. no one sees it, no one reads it. will post if really necessary .

end of story.

2010-06-27T23:13:00.002+08:00

what am i?

yea what am i? not who. what am i? who will ever care for a nobody like me? who will ever listen to a nobody like me? who will ever notice a nobody like me? i'm just a nobody and nothing more.

i am nothing, that's what i am.

i don't give a shit no more. whatever i do, i get no appreciation. in your eyes, i'm just nothing, not even worth mentioning.

no one will understand how it feels to be a shadow in everyone's eyes but i do. i've been living a shadow for all these years.

who am i to whine about this? i'm just a nobody.

2010-06-26T22:51:00.002+08:00

have you ever cried in your dreams? i know i have.

twice is number of times i shed a tear in my dreams. in both of my dreams, the same 2 people are involved in it. my late grandparents.

the first dream happened 1 or 2 years ago. i remember sleeping at like 4am and by the time i awoke, i was in tears. the dream goes like this. when my grandparents were still around, for their individual birthdays, my relatives would book a restaurant and invite everyone from the family to celebrate their birthdays. so i was dreaming that it was my late grandmother's birthday and we are at the restaurant as usual. my grandfather told me to wish my grandmother happy birthday, so i did. as i was walking to her, i began to remember that they have already past away. before i could walk to her, i awoke from that dream, lying in bed in tears.

the second dream happened just 2 days ago, on my 18th birthday. this dream i remember it very vaguely. i slept at 2am the previous night and like the first dream, i was in tears when i awoke. all i can remember from that dream is that my grandmother was in front of me, talking to me. then, i awoke from that dream and in tears. i lay on my bed, closing my eyes, thanking them and telling them that i've grown up because of their love and care.

2010-06-25T00:12:00.003+08:00

18 and 1 day old.

yup. it has cross 12am. it's over. the day of pain and suffering is over. another 364 days to the next one.

P.S. by the way, happy birthday to my dog. he is one year older now and today is his day.

-1 more day.

2010-06-24T01:59:00.002+08:00

i'm officially 18.

18 is just a number. my heart still is the same as before. nothing much has change.

0 more days.

2010-06-23T19:14:00.002+08:00

turning 18. good thing? bad thing?

i'm just hours away from turning 18. it has been 18 years of suffering and pain with a little pinch of joy. shan't write more about it. all i can say is, whoever that is reading this, please don't wish me. i just wanna this day to go by like a normal day, nothing special. so please don't wish me. it's not an happy occasion in the first place.

1 more day.

2010-06-22T00:38:00.002+08:00

it's official. i'm a retarded idiot.

what have i ever done in life that is right? come to think of it, nothing. i make the stupidest mistakes, even my birth is a mistake. i even make mistakes in doing the simplest of things. example, talking to people.

2 more days.

2010-06-21T16:28:00.002+08:00

it's my fault. it always is.

why can't i get things right? why does everything goes wrong? why am i here?

so many questions, so little answers.

3 more days.

2010-06-19T15:01:00.002+08:00

my biggest mistake.

everything in my life is a mistake. i being born is already a mistake. once a mistake done, it can't be undone. it is permanently etch into the person's mind.

5 more days.

2010-06-18T13:24:00.002+08:00

who am i the one who calls the shots?

trying to understand me is like opening pandora's box. there's only 1 small glimpse of hope in me and the rest are pain and suffering.

6 more days.

2010-06-17T13:58:00.002+08:00

everything is screwed for me.

i don't understand anything around me. my studies, friends and even myself.

7 more days.

2010-06-16T09:17:00.003+08:00

is this Déjà vu?

everything is just repeating itself all over again. when will it end?

8 more days.

2010-06-14T13:56:00.002+08:00

what's on my mind? i have no idea.

chaos, disaster, disarray, disorder, pandemonium, turmoil, confusion, catastrophe, failure and tragedy. that's going through my mind right now.

9 more days.

2010-05-04T00:17:00.001+08:00

goals for the year.

for tchouckball, at least be able to know what angle from their hands and be able to catch it. the best goal will be to enter national training squad but to me, that's a very far away goal.

for studies, just be able to get through this year without any problems.

for life, just end it soon.

2010-04-07T00:58:00.002+08:00

the truth.

i am stupid, dumb, idiot and whatever negative thing you can think of but most of all, i SUCK. i suck big time in every aspect you can think of. i suck in being a friend. i suck in being me. i suck in every single thing. everything is my fault. i'm like a walking 'butterfly effect'. every little thing that i do affects everything else catastrophically.

all i can say is 'C'est tout mon faute. Je suis désolé.' translation : 'It's all my fault. I'm so sorry.'

2010-04-02T02:32:00.002+08:00

someone. teach me how to be me.

who am i? what am i? many people tell me to go out and not stay at home and face the computer all day but where else can i go? i know it myself. i am disliked and not remembered as a person, even a shadow is more significant compared to me. i'm just one of the person where you just chuck me at the back of your mind and remember me when you need me. who wants to go out with a loser like me? no one.

what can i do? nothing.

i am deem as 'fake' when i try to be the true me. it's like whatever i do that is the opposite of being me is 'me'. is there someone out there that knows how i feel? the feeling of putting on a different 'mask' in front of different people. in front of family, it's one mask. in front different groups of friends, one mask for each group. in front of everyone else, you guessed it, another one.

by myself? everything is off and i can finally face my true emotions. this is also the reason why everyday i sleep at 4, 5 in the morning. to face my true emotions when everyone else is sleeping.

'If you expect everything to fail, anything else is just an improvement.'

2010-03-13T05:19:00.002+08:00

Good morning whoever is reading this.

i know i should be sleeping now but 'nah'. haha.

i finally realize something. i realize that i should just give up. give up on what you may ask? i give up on believing things will stay the same like what it was in the past.

in reality, things and people change. give up on the thought that everything will stay the same although only some time have just passed. people's attitude can just change in a matter of seconds. what can you do? all you can do is just accept it. reality isn't that kind.

before i go, i shall leave a quote.
'As one door closes, another one slams shut in your face.'
that's reality for you.

2010-02-28T15:02:00.002+08:00

long time since i post.

some people know me as a freeloader, a friend, a brother, a senior, a junior and even a stranger. however, who really know who i am inside? inside, i'm a totally different person. whoever i am outside is just a mask to cover who i really am inside.

to show my anger, my sadness and everything about me, i need to hide it from reality before i hurt another person's feelings. however, sometimes reality sees this side of me.

it's difficult to be me, the original me.

2010-02-20T15:21:00.003+08:00

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace

Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared

I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

God!

Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

2010-02-07T17:58:00.000+08:00

guess i'm unwanted once again.

2010-02-01T20:53:00.001+08:00

what's the purpose of living?

2010-01-31T22:00:00.000+08:00

my opinions are apparently not needed. it's redundant.

2010-01-30T23:13:00.002+08:00

sorry to those that are bothered to read this.

sorry i never update my blog. these few weeks busy in school and in tchoukball training (mostly tchoukball training).

1 good news. 1 week of studying left! (excluding UT week.) i want to get this over and done with ASAP.

as for tchoukball, i need to concentrate in every training! 1 more thing. this CIP shit to unbanned tchouckball is freaking irritating and tiring. i spent a full day walking around the HDB blocks across RP door to door giving out filers.

that's all.

2010-01-05T09:22:00.001+08:00

A puppet with a soul is still controlled by his/her puppeteer.

2009-11-19T15:11:00.002+08:00

why do i care?

sometimes i wonder why do i care so much for? i don't get anything in return anyways, i just make myself more unhappy.

2009-11-03T13:05:00.004+08:00

Reality

Honesty is a harsh Reality that people seem to try to run away from it. however, Reality will definitely catch up with you someday. so why not just accept Reality by simply accepting Honesty from people rather than continue to run away from it?

i don't get it.

Life

my life is like the Buridan's Donkey. always standing on the fence and never choosing a side. soon enough, i will soon die of standing on the fence.

2009-10-23T13:20:00.002+08:00

why is everything changing?

why is everything changing right in front of me? right in front of my eyes.

i really don't understand what's happening around me. i'm still caught in the past where everything used to be happy. now, everything and everyone around me aren't what they used to be.

2009-10-22T23:29:00.003+08:00

i've been thinking of my past...

picture yourself back to around the age of 9. aren't you like a happy-go-lucky kind of kid? for me, the age of 9 is an age that i can never forget.

i have been forced to do something i really hate doing, been blamed for something i have never done. however, i still just kept it in. this lasted for the next consecutive 2 years.

from then on, i've learned to keep everything to myself, never telling anyone what's really happening inside.

2009-10-13T13:28:00.002+08:00

new sem new class. w47c to w14k.

changing class is a usual thing in rp. gotta get use to it.

i don't feel myself in w47c what's the difference in w14k? i've been not myself ever since i've entered rp. i'm a different person in front of everyone. no one have seen the true side of me.

2009-09-24T23:33:00.002+08:00

my UT3 results is finally out.

comms - D+ overall C
enterprise - C+ overall C+
maths - C+ overall C+
cog - C+ overall C+
science - B overall B

comms was a shocker. never knew i will get D+. the rest is expected. haha.

2009-08-28T22:59:00.001+08:00

no one understands.

2009-08-01T19:06:00.001+08:00

answers. i need answers.

2009-07-24T00:03:00.001+08:00

counting down - 5 weeks to go before semester ends.

i wish i could find a place in the world where i can truly be alone with my thoughts and leave this world behind me just for a day.

i have always been caught in the middle of everything, from friends to family. the feeling of being caught in the middle isn't good at all. one wrong step to the left or right and you may be hated by either.

my life has always been sitting on the fence. i don't know whether to fall left or to fall right. i know it's not good to be sitting there but that's my only way to satisfy both parties.

2009-07-19T04:45:00.002+08:00

it's 4.45am. long since i slept so 'early'.

counting down - 5 to 6 weeks to go before semester ends.

although i'm happy that's my 1st semester in RP is going to end soon but at the same time i don't want it to end so soon. mext semester, different class and new classmates. i will definitely going to miss 1st semester W47C. all the memories we had will not be forgotten.

4 more months to the end of the year. come to think of it, these 10 months since i ended my 'O's has gone in a flash, slacking for 6 months and studying for 4 months. the word 'studying' there does not mean i really studied. for the 4 months of 'studying, i've been doing the same as the 6 months before, slacking. so to be correct, i have been slacking for the past 10 months since after 'O's ended.

'time is an element i can't control.'

2009-07-05T01:48:00.004+08:00

it's 1:50am in the morning.

i dont freaking know what's on my mind now. i have no mood to sleep or even to continue using com. i'm caught in the middle, like always.

there's one thing on my mind. that thing is Death. i'm not afraid of it but instead prepared for it. when it's my time to go, i will go. i have no regrets.

'live each day like it's your last.'

2009-07-03T16:50:00.004+08:00

today was a total joke. why? this is why...

it all started with me reaching school at 730am when my class starts at 830am. by 845am, all my classmates arrive in class with the usual faci cum mentor late for class. he usually comes to class at around 9 so we didn't care much that he wasn't there.

9am. faci still haven't come to class so we started to watch 'drag me to hell' on the projector.

1030am. faci finally came. watched with us finish the movie and then started 'teaching'. he taught us 2 formulas and he said you can leave if you want. at that time it was only 11am. haha. 30mins of 'learning'.

1130am. told sis i meet her at her block cause she wanted to pon class in 1 hour time. after that, followed classmates to south foodcourt, koufu and food heaven to buy food when we are suppose to stay in food heaven because of the h1n1 but we went everywhere anyway.

1215pm. came back from food buying. pack bag and return laptop to IT helpdesk. meet sis below her block at 1230pm. left school soon after that when the rest of the school ended at 330pm.

wish to have more of such days. haha.

2009-06-24T09:42:00.002+08:00

24 June 2009. a day i wish to end it quick and just forget about it. a day i wish people would forget what happens on this day.

exactly 17 years has gone by but what thing in my this 17 years can i ever be proud of? i have lost everything i once loved. my friends, my family and my will to live. i am not afraid of dying but afraid of losing the people and things i loved.

2009-06-14T20:55:00.003+08:00

today will be my last day of holidays. tomorrow will be the start of the 10 weeks of school till my next holidays. haha.

monday - maths
tuesday - enterprise
wednesday - cognitive
thursday - communication
friday - science

out of all these 5 subjects, i not say hate enterprise but just dont like it. the faci keep shooting me. irritating sia. cant he just leave me alone? my 1st D came from him but nevermind, it's just a D. if i'm not wrong, i got like 19B 9C 1D up till now. nice score huh. haha.

i notice my this post is quite random but nevermind. haha.

2009-05-20T14:56:00.000+08:00

it doesn't end, does it?

it doesn't stop, does it?

2009-05-18T17:11:00.003+08:00

Passanger Seat - Death Cab For Cuitie

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"Do they collide?"
I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter.

When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
When you need directions then I'll be the guide
For all time.
For all time.

i doubt anyone knows the reason why i put this lyrics.

2009-05-17T12:47:00.001+08:00

Incomplete - Backstreet Boys

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

2009-05-16T22:17:00.002+08:00

can i have this one wish?

to be happy inside and out for just one pitiful day?

please. just for a day.

2009-05-15T09:45:00.006+08:00

i am trying my best to change but everything around me just reminds me of my past.

i always taking the blame for things i did not commit. i get neglected by the very people whom i'm trying my very best to protect. i hurt myself for stopping another thing from happening. i endure the pain while you guys have fun. i stay in the shadows and only get noticed when needed. i'm always the one caught in the middle of the people i love.

i really dont know what's happening to me. everything that i'm trying to forget is replaying in my mind over and over again. every scene and every detail is just so clear, so clear that it hurts all over again.

2009-05-14T13:10:00.005+08:00

hello to anyone who are bored enough to read my blog. this is how this story begins...

does anyone out there know the feeling of being neglected and rejected by society? does anyone out there know the feeling of being the last one someone think of? does anyone know the pain of bottling everything in and putting a mask on everytime?

nevermind all that. what's the difference between now and the life i lived in my secondary school? it's a total déjà vu all over again. somethings just never change, doesn't it?

my life is so screw up right now. no. it has been screwed up ever since i entered this world.

say whatever you want on my blog. i don't really care right now. i'm trying to shut myself out of this world.

2009-05-09T22:54:00.002+08:00

It has been long since I last posted. I’ve been having repetitive days in school since it started. Floorball trial was crap and the re-trial is this coming Tuesday. Biking trial is this coming Monday. If I can’t get into any one of these 2 IGs, I really do not know what else I can join. Hmmz... Tennis? Archery? Bowling? Maybe. Band? I don’t think so. Ok enough of the stupid IG thing.

In the case of my studies, it has been the same. My attitude towards studies had never changed a bit. I’m still lazy in my work and my RJs are so damn short and UTs are coming soon too. Guess I won’t be studying once again. Same old me. Thomas on the other hand, I think he stills has the same attitude towards studying. Haha. Don’t blame me for that. He has LAN in his classroom everyday after school with me joining him till my incompetent mouse came along. Apart from the new school and the new classmates, I am like living my secondary school life over again.

Ok. I have nothing more to type for this post already. To be continue?

2009-04-22T02:09:00.003+08:00

it's like 2 in the morning right now and yup i'm typing another post again although i'm suppose to wake up about 4 hours later.

man... i'm starting to realise that life sucks, life sucks to the core. i do not know the reason why but it just sucks. life is so damn screwed up for me and i can never understand the reason.

if i mess up, i'm sorry. if i'm not good enough of a friend, i'm sorry. if you think i'm arrogant, i'm sorry. if i'm a burden, i'm sorry. and the list goes on... i'm totally sorry for anything i've ever done wrong.

'C'est tout mon faute. Je suis désolé.' if you understand the meaning maybe you'll know what i'm saying.

i know some of you guys that are reading this will leave a comment, be it negative or positive, just say what you want.

2009-04-21T21:53:00.004+08:00

ok it has been very long since i last posted. let me start things of with something very random.

yay! i've been caught 3 times by police with my bicycle. haha. first time outside secondary school, second time at multi-storey carpark in front of my house and lastly just 2 days ago at the skate park near my house at 1am in the morning with my bro. woots. let's see how many times more will i get caught. haha.

ok shall talk about school. the 3 days of orientation was entertaining yet boring. i knew no one in my course and all my other friends are like in other courses. ok enough of the orientation. now i shall talk about the 1st 2 days of school.

DAY 1
1. slept at 3am and waking up at 5am when i was suppose to wake up at 630am.
2. meet friends, eat breakfast and everything then reach school just before i was
late.
3. entered class W47C seeing a freaking serious looking facilitator.
4. manage to survive the day knowing some people of my class.
5. went with sis to plaza sing to buy her things.
6. went home by 9pm.

Day 2
1. slept for 10hours straight till 645am.
2. meet friends, eat breakfast and everything then reach classroom just 1min before i was late.
3. entered same class seeing this time a friendlier looking facilitator.
4. laugh the whole day and made more friends.
5. end class by 330pm.
6. follow sis once again but this time to vivo to buy her things once again.
7. went home by 8pm.

that's my 1st 2 days of school. i've nothing to say no more.

2009-04-01T02:45:00.006+08:00

it's 2.45am on a wednesday morning. good morning/afternoon/evening anyone that's reading this. thank you for reading another post on 'another day of mingwei's boring life.' i really appreciate that you spending your precious time reading this though i know the things that happened in my life is boring for some people. Thank You.

first, i would like to say that school is reopening in 19 days. my 6 months of holidays are coming to an end, finally. it has also been 6 months since i last saw 4e1 '08 together as a class. the fun we had and the mischiefs we got into.

secondly, i would like to wish guangyang symphonic band good luck for the syf that's starting in exactly 7 hours later.

thirdly, happy april fool's day to everyone. haha.

fourthly, advance happy birthday to my sis whose birthday is just 2 days away.

last and not least, a big thank you to whoever that is reading this for wasting their time.

2009-03-24T21:57:00.002+08:00

Breath - Breaking Benjamin

I see nothing in your eyes
And the more I see the less I like
Is it over yet?
In my head

I know nothing of your kind
And I won't reveal your evil mind
Is it over yet?
I can't win

So sacrifice yourself
And let me have what's left
I know that I can find
The fire in your eyes
I'm going all the way
Get away please

You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You got to fight just to make it through
'Cause I will be the death of you

This will be all over soon
Pour the salt into the open wound
Is it over yet?
Let me in

So sacrifice yourself
And let me have what's left
I know that I can find
The fire in your eyes
I'm going all the way
Get away please

You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You got to fight just to make it through
'Cause I will be the death of you

I'm waiting
I'm praying
Realize
Start hating

You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You got to fight just to make it through
'Cause I will be the death of you

2009-03-22T21:05:00.003+08:00

been pretty quiet these few days... nothing happened and nothing will happen anyways. everyday is so repetitive, so boring. i'm living each day just waiting for the next day to come. life sucks now, totally. step into my shoes and feels what it's like to have such a repetitive lifestyle. although what i'm about to say is quite unbelievable to some people but i would rather be in school studying than to seriously rot at home.

i've nothing to say no more.

2009-03-12T23:29:00.003+08:00

i've been listening to Secondhand Serenade lately. i find that their songs are those that you can never be bored of. songs like Goodbye, Like A Knife, Fall For You, Maybe, Stranger, Your Call, Suppose, A Twist In My Story, Why, Stay Close, Don't Go and Pretend. these are the songs that really touches the heart. for those who do not know about Secondhand Serenade, go have a listen to those songs that i've recommended. enjoy.

shall end here.

2009-03-01T06:20:00.005+08:00

now is the 1st day of march of the 2009th year that Jesus Christ was born. it has just been 9 hours 27 mins since i last posted.

i've been sleeping like 5 plus 6 in the morning or even not sleeping and waking up 3 plus 4 in the afternoon everyday and i'm going crazy right now.

by right, breakfast is suppose to be eaten in the morning, lunch eaten in the afternoon and dinner in the night and maybe supper in the late hours but i screwing this routine up totally. like right now i'm eating instant noodles and i do not know whether it is for last night's dinner or today's breakfast. by the time i wake up today, my next meal will be dinner. however, there's a good side to this eating routine of mine. i'm getting skinner by the day. haha.

i'm also having a 'heck care' attitude these few days and it's getting worse. let me apologise for my attitude cause i do not know what's happening. i seem uninterested in everything.

let me apologise also for my randomness lately. i'm like thinking of some freaking random stuffs everytime. can't concentrate fully on what i'm doing.

my mind is now going blank of what to type. most likely because of the lack of sleep. shall end here to crawl to bed and finally laid down to rest.

2009-02-28T20:53:00.005+08:00

28 feb 2009. the last day of the month of feb of the 2009th year that Jesus Christ was born. march is 1 day away. yay?

i seriously dont know what the hell am i thinking of now. my mind's a total blur. i dont know what is the cause of this confusion in my mind. it's just there. it took me 20 mins just to type out these 2 paragraphs of words.

what kind of person am i? that's the question for myself today. to me, i'm the person that's willing to be the one that is the 'punching bag' of anyone's frustrations, be the one who is willing to listen to all your problems. although i, myself may have some problems personally but i'm the kind where i bottle all of it up and just throw it away never allowing it to resurface ever again though it still lingers at the back of my mind. but who cares?!? with my heck care attitude, it doesn't matter whether it lingers there or stays there.

2009-02-24T02:55:00.009+08:00

i dont know why but i've been thinking about the 4 years in gyss.

we were innocent young kids when we first stepped into the school. now, it's a total different story.

i remembered my class 1e3 back in 2005. the first few days was so awkward, you knew no one and no one knew you. at that time i was thinking - why am i in this school? then after a few weeks of knowing each other, all hell broke lose. my class made a few teachers cry because of our behaviour in that first year. i didn't think i would change my ideology of the school but i did. i longed to go back each and everyday cause we weren't studying, we were playing.

a year just goes by so fast and then it was 2006. 2e3 was the class i was in and i never regretted to be in that class. as usual, we played everyday of the week but this year it was different. this time we got into more trouble than before. we were put on the discipline master's 'black list' and to what i know, my class is the only one till now that is black listed. however, my class still stick together and also got punished together.

i remember 1 incident our english teacher, mr. chua got fed up with us that he sent us to the parade grounds to stand as punishment. mr. chua then called the discipline master, mr. goh to handle us. mr goh shouted at us to put our finger on our lips cause we were still talking although we were punished. we stood there for about an hour before we were allowed to go back to class. while standing there, a senior took a picture of us standing there with his handphone. a funny memorable experience. our english teacher wasn't the only one that made us stand in the parade grounds as punishment. our history teacher, mr. lee did the same thing. a total of 8 times have my class been standing there as punishment.

does the book 'diary of ann frank' ring a bell? it does for my class. because of that book, around half the class had to copy the diaries in that book. each person used at least 7 A4 size paper written both sides. we copied from the start of school to the end and some stayed back till around 5pm just to finish copying. actually, it is because of us that we needed to copy so much. the initial punishment was to copy only 10 diaries but because we thought that he was lying about it that we decided not to copy and in the end needed to copy 20 long diaries instead.

i can never forget about the bond we had from secondary 1 and 2.

2007 came in a flash and i was posted to 3e1. 2007 was a joker year. why would i say that you may ask? because my class had many funny people that everyday you would hear laughter without fail. in that year no one was serious (not counting the few exceptions, there were still some serious people in the class). everyday we were either laughing at this or laughing at that. martin was the main joker of our class, he made the class 'alive'. we got into trouble as usual but that became so predictable.

our physical education lesson (p.e) was the bomb. normally, the p.e teacher would ask the class to do 20 mins of warm-ups before playing the 'games' as we called it but my class was different. we told him that we just wanted to play the games straight and not waste time doing warm-ups and he agreed to let us do as we will. every lesson of p.e from then on was just straight playing the games.

there were many more incidents but im lazy to type it out. if i would to type it out, my post will be damn long. as if it's not long enough. haha.

the 'not serious' us managed to get into 4e1 the following year and 2008 begun. after being not serious in secondary 3, we decided to be serious this year since it is the major year for us. we tried, i must say tried to be serious. it was just 10 months to the major exams. somehow, we weren't really serious at all. we still played as usual even when it was 1 month before the exams. however, somehow we managed to survive the 'o' levels.

2 days after our last paper was the prom night held at yio chu kang country club. it was most fun day of all i might say. with pictures taken with teachers and friends for remembrance and games played at the venue. it was a night to remember.

these 4 years i had in gyss was fulfilling and packed with so much laughter.

and now i shall jump to the present, 2009. still waiting to register to republic poly in march and to the start schooling again in april. hope my years in my new school will be worth remembering.

2009-02-14T03:51:00.008+08:00

14 of feb is here again. Happy Valentine's Day to anyone who is reading this.

im listening to a song right now by Snow Patrol, 'You could be happy.

'You could be happy
And I won't know
But you weren't happy
The day I watched you go

And all the things
That I wished I had not said
Are played on loops
Till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you
How we were
But not our last days of silence
Screaming, blur

Most of what I remember
Makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking
Out the door

You could be happy
I hope you are
You made me happier
Than I'd been by far

Somehow everything
I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment
It's all not true

Do the things
That you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back
Don't think, just do

More than anything
I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite
Out of the whole world'

this song shows how much i regret doing unwanted things to those friends that cared for me before. those regretful words that i said and the actions i've done. 'once the damage is done, it can't be undone.' my greatest regret.

shall end here.

2009-01-28T05:21:00.004+08:00

time for me to finally update my blog at 5:21am after my last post that is 27 days ago. amazing how time flies when you're practically doing nothing everyday and i know my chatbox is spammed by mainly 2 of my 'good' friends. haha.

time to talk something serious. 2 days to posting. really hope i get into a poly, any one of my 12 choices i will be damn happy. what i can do now is just to hope for the best.

one more important thing is I NEED A JOB!!! yea totally, i need a job. i need to get out of this 'ultimate 宅男' life!

that's all i've gotta say.

2009-01-06T23:28:00.002+08:00

yay new year? yay i no job. so everyday slack and slack like a no life. yes, i agree i have no life. too lazy to find a job or even find a life. ha... that's my life anyways. a slack life.

results soon. yay? sian? i dont know what am i feeling at all. i just know it will definitely be the hot topic of chinese new year. i just wish i could be just be an apparition in everybody's eyes.

and that's the end of post. i guess...

2008-12-30T15:25:00.002+08:00

before this year ends, i have some things to say.

first, thank you everyone for such a wonderful last year in gyss.
second, thank you friends for being there.
third, im sorry friends for not being there when needed.
fourth, im sorry to anyone and everyone that i've done something wrong to.
fifth, im sorry to my family for not living up to expectations.
sixth, im sorry for not even living up to my own expectations.
...

basically, a big thank you and a huge apology to everyone.

2008-12-18T19:55:00.002+08:00

it has been 10 days since i last posted. im amazed myself. but seriously, what happen in these 10 days you may ask? nothing really happened. everyday face to face my com for the whole day, sleep then it repeats itself. boring.

having such a freaking long holiday really sucks. rotting at home everyday, doing the same thing repetitively. man it sucks.

a whole year is coming to an end again. so slow yet so fast. early this year i wished the year would end early but now i totally regret that wish. it's now a total BORE.

i've nothing to say already... out of words... losing my mind in totally BORED-NESS. shall end here.

2008-12-08T19:27:00.013+08:00

ok im back from my boring trip to cheena... the whole trip was a total bore. what you mostly see there are mountains after mountains. practically i spent most of my time up in one of the mountains. trekking up and down, up and down. so it's kinda boring. seriously, nothing interesting happened through out the whole week unless you are talking about the quarrel between my uncle and a taxi driver. all i can say is cheena now is freezing cold, 8 degrees when i was there if im not mistaken. ya and that's all i can say about the trip. shall end this post with some pictures.

(what it says is '请勿坐压 Please Don't Squash')

cheena's english translation.

the mountains i was talking about.

the scenery.

time for a change

2008-11-29T15:49:00.002+08:00

time for me to change a little... out with the old and in with the new like what they say... deleted my old blog to signify a changing point of my life... now it's a new phase of my life... time to move on...

as what my blog name states, it's an endless struggle for me...

heading off to china tonight for a short 1 week holiday. hope to enjoy this short break for me from this hectic life i have and finally get to escape from reality for now...

tag me or link me of you want... will be back in a week time... bye.