Wednesday, April 7, 2010 . 12:58 AM

the truth.

i am stupid, dumb, idiot and whatever negative thing you can think of but most of all, i SUCK. i suck big time in every aspect you can think of. i suck in being a friend. i suck in being me. i suck in every single thing. everything is my fault. i'm like a walking 'butterfly effect'. every little thing that i do affects everything else catastrophically.

all i can say is 'C'est tout mon faute. Je suis désolé.' translation : 'It's all my fault. I'm so sorry.'

Friday, April 2, 2010 . 2:32 AM

someone. teach me how to be me.

who am i? what am i? many people tell me to go out and not stay at home and face the computer all day but where else can i go? i know it myself. i am disliked and not remembered as a person, even a shadow is more significant compared to me. i'm just one of the person where you just chuck me at the back of your mind and remember me when you need me. who wants to go out with a loser like me? no one.

what can i do? nothing.

i am deem as 'fake' when i try to be the true me. it's like whatever i do that is the opposite of being me is 'me'. is there someone out there that knows how i feel? the feeling of putting on a different 'mask' in front of different people. in front of family, it's one mask. in front different groups of friends, one mask for each group. in front of everyone else, you guessed it, another one.

by myself? everything is off and i can finally face my true emotions. this is also the reason why everyday i sleep at 4, 5 in the morning. to face my true emotions when everyone else is sleeping.

'If you expect everything to fail, anything else is just an improvement.'